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XandraAmanrath's Journal


XandraAmanrath's Journal

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8 entries this month
 

Watermark

21:22 Jul 31 2015
Times Read: 343


I had several messages this morning about a few profiles ( not on here) with my pictures. SO all pictures will be removed and will return after they are "watermarked".



I cannot believe that I would even have to do this,I'm shocked not in the slightest flattered,because someone didn't feel comfortable enough to use their own,shit happens.



immense frustration of having to go through google and also those websites to remove all those pictures.


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Breathe.....

22:15 Jul 25 2015
Times Read: 357








Everything is fine now..so far.

Little A's surgery went okay. I've been trying to gather my energy back from all that has happened.

Feel free to message me I will be available..

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If it's not your face it must be your body..

17:10 Jul 15 2015
Times Read: 377


It's a break day for me..



On and off these bothersome migraines come swinging in from no where.



Like today,I think I should stay in my room/cave and try to sleep it off if possible.



This is such a bummer on Hump day.


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Returned

06:49 Jul 13 2015
Times Read: 380


Decided to get away for the weekend I just recently got home in fact.







Pretty tired,but overall happy oddly enough..

Going to have a very busy week ahead of me so please give me time to return all messages.


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Abyss

22:04 Jul 05 2015
Times Read: 393


New hair color.

No more my little pony,dead mermaid hair.

I haven't really mentioned what has been going on in " Real Life "

Little A will be having serious surgery on the 22nd of this month.I feel like if I openly say it I can cope better.

I haven't spoke,chatted about it before-hand or mention him in my journals much period.

Privacy mainly.

He is my only child and again if you did not know he is 3.

It is a very straining thought of what is to come,So much that I can't sleep,Others in my personal life say that nonchalantly that it will be fine.However I know it's just a brush off .I have been the one consulting the doctors and specialists and requesting referrals to the right people to get to this point.

Total of almost 7 months just to find the right person for this.

Just typing this is making me sick to my stomach.

I haven't cried.It's not in me to do it.

If I do everyone else around me will fall apart.

Naturally I am the person to take care of every issue and everyone one in my family.

My son understands something will be done to him and it is left alone.

Normalcy up until the day.



I guess you can go back and read my journals and it will make sense a bit now with what random shit I type.


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Stunned awkwardness ..

03:24 Jul 03 2015
Times Read: 413


Think of chances...

Of someone recognizing you from your VR or VF profile..very slim to none especially since to personal knowledge not many people in your state/city even have such things.





It happened to me.

And I pretty taken aback,It must of been the hair.All the more reason to jump on dying it.

It started as a normal pardon,to inquiries of where I look familiar from..

Ultimate conclusion is that is why I do not go downtown to the art district.

I just felt like a deer in the headlights..

Then kind of shrugged it off.

I am going to leave the person a mystery as requested.Feel free to message me of course.

Not sure I handled it the best way but if you were as shy as me I think I did a decent job handling the shock..


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Can you...?

07:28 Jul 02 2015
Times Read: 419


"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone

I long for that feeling to not feel at all

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim"



Just some lyrics that resonate with me..gives a pang to my chest,falters my breathing a bit...and then..I try to shake it off.

Such stupid weak reactions..

That I hate.

Vulnerability does not suit me. Like sympathy.Never been good at either or.


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Model <3

20:17 Jul 01 2015
Times Read: 426






One of my many favs for manga..

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